This morning I left my daughter sitting at the table, eating her breakfast, while I went off to finish getting ready. I was in there for a good 10 minutes, washing my face, brushing my teeth, doing all those little things, while Lilly stayed at the table peacefully minding her own business.
The second I sat down on the toilet I heard her drop off her chair and put her bowl in the sink, followed by the pitter patter of tiny feet. Next thing I know, my bathroom door swings open and she’s standing in front of me smiling.
How does she know?!
Sure, I guess it’s possible that maybe it’s a coincidence. Maybe she just happened to finish eating her breakfast at the exact time that I decided to sit down and take a pee. But as toddler parents, we know better.
This isn’t a new life lessons. Once my little angel learned how to crawl, I knew I could say adios to my bathroom alone time. It was one of the many things I learned in my second year of motherhood.
Back then I half expected it. We lived in a much smaller home where the bathroom was directly off the living room and right next to the kitchen. It was one of the reasons that we had added an ensuite onto our house hunting checklist. I’d held out hope that since my bathroom is now through the kitchen, around the corner, down the hall and inside my bedroom, that maybe I would have peace.
My question to all of you, the older far more experienced parents, is when does this end? When do I regain my beloved bathroom privacy? When do I once again have a chance in hell of taking a pee alone?
I just need to have some semblance of hope. I mean what are we talking about here, one year? Two years? Ten???
I have to say as a working mom, this is one of the benefits of going to an office all day. I know that there I have the legal right to go sit in the bathroom and if anyone intentionally burst in, we’d have a lawsuit on our hands.
Maybe we should form a toddler mom union. To stand up against the oppression of bathroom invasions and sleepless nights.
There are a few tricks I have learned that can steer here away for a few precious moments.
- “Go as your Dad for ________” insert whatever you think will work. Desperate times call for chocolate cookies.
- “Can you check on Rinnie for me?” The dog. Her toddler need to ‘help’ kicks in and she goes running off.
- “Where did you leave Baby?” This only works if she isn’t already holding baby. So about 5% of the time.
- I have also waited until we start a movie/show. Turn up the volume a bit and sneak off. But be warned, do not abuse this one. If they notice you are gone for too long, they will come looking.
In her defense she doesn’t have any bathroom privacy either. However she can’t get up onto the potty by herself, nor can she reach the toilet paper, so I believe I am justified. Something tells me she will learn the importance of wanting her bathroom privacy long before she will ever respect mine.
Ideally speaking, kids would learn the meaning of a closed door early on and parents everywhere would reclaim the right to pee in peace.