The day you were born, everything in my world changed. We knew we were having a little girl and I couldn’t have possibly been more excited for that. I just couldn’t wait to be your Mama. Of course, we would’ve been happy with any baby, but large part of my heart had longed to have a daughter since I was a little girl myself.

My girl.

They placed you on my chest and from there our bond was forged. It has continued to grow over the last four and half years as you have become a little girl, full of life, personality and the right amount of attitude. However, lately I have felt like that bond has been tested.

Just under one year ago, our whole world changed again. Your little brother Colton joined our family. Likewise, I felt an instantly fierce mama bear love the moment I held him. And although I love you both equally and unconditionally, there is a subtle difference in the way it feels.

You, my girl, smile with this bright look and hug with all your might. I fall in love with you each and every morning. You have expanded my heart in ways I didn’t think possible. Your brother, with his bashful grin and need to burrow himself into my shoulder, acts as though he is trying to steal my heart everyday.

I honestly don’t know if that is a mother-daughter, mother-son thing. Or if it is simply a difference in the people you each are. I just know it has an impact on the relationships I have with each of you. He simply seems to need me more. That may be an obvious statement, since he is still a baby. But even in comparison to who you were as a baby, Cole is a bit less independent and more attached to me.

In the past year I can’t tell you how many times you have heard the phrase “I’m sorry hunny, your brother needs me.”

I have missed so many bedtimes because I was pumping milk or taking care of Cole. I have cuddled with you less, carried you less and played with you less. Very quickly, you had to go from barely out of toddlerhood to a little girl. You have handled it beautifully. You have been kind to Colton and helpful to me. You have made me so incredibly proud.

But this transition hasn’t happened without its emotional moments. The worst for me was when you sat beside me one day on the couch, looked me in the eyes through your tears and said, “You never play with me anymore because you’re too busy with Colton. You never have time for me anymore.”

And while I know you love him and adore watching him grow, there are times that you have found him trying. Times when you have rolled your eyes, or sighed in exasperation as he pushes you away from me or cries for my attention. There are times when you have cried over your lack of time with me. And my heart breaks for you.

Baby girl, I want you to know that none of this was ever your brother’s fault. I actually think you already know and understand that, but I wanted to say it in writing. Mama was so busy with Colton because I wanted to make sure that he got the same love and attention that your father and I were able to give you when you were a baby.

Going from one child to two is a bigger adjustment than I anticipated, but it is completely worth it. I am blessed enough to have two beautiful and amazing little people to call my own. There is nothing more important to me in this world than being your Mama. And although you now share your Mama with Colton, you will always be the one that made me a Mama in the first place.

This past year has been a learning curve for all of us. I had a lot to learn when I became your Mama, but this time I had you watching me while I learned how to become a Mama to someone else as well. I will forever remember the patience, support and love you have shown, all while becoming the intuitive young lady you are now.

Ideally speaking, one day you choose to know how amazing having children really is. And that your heart will feel as full and perfect as mine does now.

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Adam and I have been facing a bit of a crossroads in our home for the last few weeks. As Colton gets older, we have to decide when to start encouraging his self soothing. And when it’s appropriate to let him cry it out a bit.

Right now, for pretty much both naps and each bedtime at night, I rock him him to sleep. Either in the rocking chair, or walking around his room, he falls asleep nestled under my chin while I hum lullabies. However, with Adam on paternity leave, it is a different story Monday through Friday during the day. He cuddles with Colton for a few moments before each nap, then lays him down in his crib, tells him he loves him and leaves the room. He tells me that Cole will cry for 2 to 3 minutes and then fall asleep.

Our little man is 9 1/2 months old. I know for certain that Lilly was well past being rocked to sleep by now. I know that when she was a baby, between 5 to 6 months old, I had chosen to let her self soothe. She might have fussed a little bit before each nap, but she never really cried much at all. By seven months old I could put her down in her crib and she would babble herself to sleep just fine. She was a great sleeper and very independant. Right from day one.

Colton has been a very different baby altogether. He simply doesn’t self soothe. At all. It could have something to do with the fact that he was very colicky until 6 months old. If we didn’t comfort him right away, he would scream for hours. We learned to hop into action the second he started to fuss. It was like diffusing a ticking bomb several times a day.

The upside to colic? I have an incredibly snuggly baby boy. We have spent countless hours attached and it still shows now. He just loves to cuddle with me, sit on me, sleep on me. And I find myself wondering, what is so wrong with that?

Mama Snuggles

Here is my theory on it all. Contrary to what people think, babies don’t want for much. They may be incredibly dependant tiny humans, but 95% of it is need based. Cole does often want the TV remote. To chew on it, of course. He doesn’t like it when we deny him that want. But other than that, there is very little he actually wants rather than needs.

This will all change and likely in the blink of an eye. He will want everything. He will want candy, gadgets and games. He will want to stay out late with his friends. He will want to borrow the car. He will want to move away and marry someone (who will never be good enough).

Right now, he just wants me.

And sometimes Daddy. But let’s be honest. I have a mama’s boy on my hands. I thought that would change a bit when Adam took over paternity leave, but it didn’t really. He quite literally squeals with delight when I come home from work. There is no better sound.

At the tender age of 9.5 months, he already shows so much affection. He will army crawl across the floor just to pull himself up on me and bury his head under my chin or give me kisses. When he’s drinking a bottle, he rubs my hands or touches my face (although he also sometimes pulls my hair…). At the end of the day, after the PJs are on and the books have been read, he locks his head under my chin and wraps his tiny arms around my sides. Every once in a while he will pull his head up to stare at me or plant a sloppy kiss on my face.

He wants me, with all the snuggles and rocking he can get. Many would argue that at this age, this is both a want and a need.

I have struggled internally with the decision to continue rocking him to sleep. I worry that I am holding him back and stifling his independence if I wait too long. I worry that if I don’t stop soon, I’ll wind up with a 3 year old that takes an hour to go to bed.

I know that there is a crap ton of science and even more opinions on either side of this debate. There are medical papers, books, articles and blogs on the matter. What is lacking is any clear indication of a right way or wrong way.

As with all parenting tidbits I share on here, I believe that there will never be a right or wrong way. Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook. No one has the answers, despite what they think. We’re giving the gift of instincts as parents and we have to use them to determine what works best for each child.

I have had one child that we let fuss/cry it out and it worked very quickly. She is strong and independant and yet also very loving and cuddly. We now have a second child who is far more determined than his sister ever was. He craves being held more and at the end of the day, I am ok with that for a little bit longer.

Do I know exactly when we should stop rocking him to sleep or picking him up each time he cries? No. But I do know that it is not now. He just wants me. He can cry it out later.

Ideally speaking, Cole will start to gain more independence naturally the way Lilly did and he will never really have to cry it out at all.

The post He can cry it out later. If ever. appeared first on Ideally speaking....

Staging photo gone awry.

Dear kids,

When I was a little girl, like many little girls, I dreamed of what it would be like to grow up and have a family of my own. I thought about the type of mother I would be. Patient and kind. Loving and playful. I would always try to use a calm voice and my children and I would have the most wonderful relationship all of the time.

And then reality hit.

Parenting is hard work. It’s exhausting and trying. And while it is incredibly rewarding with beautiful moments, I also make a ton of mistakes. So I’m sorry kids. It turns out you don’t have a perfect mother. Every good and honest parenting blogger has shared their shortfalls in an effort to highlight the truth and humour in raising kids. This is simply mine.

Oh how I have screwed up thee. Let me count the ways…

One – The yelling.

I’m sorry that I yell so much more than I ever thought I would as a parent. I always try to keep my cool, but everyone has a breaking point. Lilly, you and I can have doozies of battles. When the dust settles, you promise to listen better and I promise to yell less. Some days we keep our promises. Other days we don’t. But I know we’ll always keep trying. Cole, I don’t yell at you because, you know, you’re a baby. But don’t worry son, your time will come.

Two – Working mom heartbreak.

I’m sorry that I choose to be a working mother. I have 20 grand, and growing, of school costs and a point to prove. Even if just to myself. One day, when you’re old enough to know me as a person and not just your mother, you will understand where my determination comes from and why I have a stronger need to succeed in life. Success comes in many forms and at many levels. For me, part of it is being a mother, but part of it is also having a career. The truth is I really love what I do. I hope one day you were both lucky enough to find something you’re passionate about it and use it for your livelihood.

Three – Bedtime. Or lack thereof.

Lilly, I’m sorry that sometimes I let you stay up way later than you should. And then you’re super tired in the morning. All because I really secretly want to watch one more My Little Pony episode. On the flip side, I am also sorry that some nights I just can’t help but count down the minutes until you guys go to bed. It is not for one moment that I don’t want to spend time with you. It’s just that sometimes I want to spend time with myself more.

Four – The horrible, terrible balloon incident.

Lilly, one time when you were making me so angry, I stepped on a balloon and popped it in front of you. And you cried. And I felt like a monster for it. I told you it was an accident and you bought that. It wasn’t. I’m sorry for that. Probably my lowest parenting moment yet. (In my defense, it was a cheap dollar store balloon, that I nearly tripped on, that was dying slow and painful death. It’s not like it was her giant foil Rainbow Dash balloon. That sucker’s still taped to her bedroom wall.)

Five – All the candy lies.

Lilly, I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve claimed were medicine. Probably 95% of them were actually candy. I just didn’t want you to have them. I promise that one day, when you’re older, we will have a girls night where we watch movies and pig out on candy till we puke. But not yet. Because your four. And that would be irresponsible.

Six – Classic rock lullabys.

Cole, I’m sorry that sometimes I sing songs that are inappropriate for a baby when I’m putting you to bed. Because you’re still young enough that I can get away with it. And after 10 rounds of Baby Mine I’m bored out of my mind. A little Pat Benatar isn’t going to corrupt you too much. *fingers crossed*

Seven – It’s my colicky baby & I’ll whine if I want to.

I’m sorry Cole, that I whined, to anyone that would listen, about how you were a colicky baby and took up all my free time while on maternity leave. You were and you did. But as a result you spend more time in my arms than I could’ve imagined. And I wouldn’t of changed a second of that. But I did whine a lot. Like I even wrote a whole blog post about it.

Eight – Passing the buck poop diaper.

Cole, I’m sorry that I slough off most of your poop diapers to your father. I know mothers are supposed to love every inch of their baby and everything to do with their baby. But since we’re being honest here, I don’t love your poop diapers. Your father grew up on a farm and has a much stronger stomach than me. Especially when it’s a cloth diaper. Gross.

Nine – Parenting by Netflix.

Kids, some days I use TV to parent you much more than I would like. There is only so much pretending to be Anna to your Elsa I can take before it becomes easier to just put on the damn movie and get some laundry done. Or sit and drink a coffee. In another room. Quite and alone. Lilly, it’s kind of alarming awesome that you know how to navigate Netflix on 3 different devices by yourself.

Ten – Bribery of all the things.

I am so sorry for the bribery. I always said it was something I wouldn’t do as a parent. But truthfully, it is the main weapon in my arsenal. Lilly, I have used bribery to get you to do just about everything from putting on your boots to finishing a meal to leaving me alone while I write/craft/clean. I’m not proud of the low levels I have gone to in order to get you to cooperate in a way that you think benefits you. Like using the disgusting yellow Starbusts that I don’t want. Or convincing you that vitamins are a treat that you should earn…when really we would give them to you anyways if you ever called our bluff.

Dear kids, I’m sorry you don’t have a perfect mother.

But I am not sorry that I love the hell out of you.

I’m not sorry, for even one second, that I decided to become a mother in the first place. At the risk of sounding cheesy, it’s the most rewarding part of my life. Hands-down.

There is nothing better than the smiles on each of your faces when you first see me in the morning.

Or the way that you each fit perfectly in the space between my head and my shoulder when we snuggle.

I secretly love that although you each adore your Daddy, you both prefer me to do your bedtime routine and I am the one you want when there are tears flowing.

I will never be the perfect mother. And lord knows I will make more mistakes in the years to come. A lot of them. But I also know that I will do a lot right. Because I am a great mother. I trust my instincts, love with all my heart and I’m not afraid to be silly and play. You are both the biggest parts of my world and always will be.

Ideally speaking, you will survive my parenting mishaps and grow up to be perfectly imperfect parents yourselves.

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It’s the second most wonderful time of the year! The Fall 2014 Toronto BabyTime Show is just around the corner. If you’re a regular to this blog, then you know that the show is one of my favorite events of the year. Between spring and fall shows, I think I have attended at least 6 times. I may be a wee bit obsessed.

For anyone who is new to this parenting gig, or will be joining our ranks shortly, the BabyTime show is the ultimate location to gain a ton of valuable information, safety knowledge and product in sight. Brands big and small head down to the show armed with coupons and samples. Various organizations and parenting services provide informative seminars an awesome information pamphlets. Long story short, at the end of the day you leave the event with a very large, very full bag of goodies to go through.

One of my favorite aspects of the BabyTime show is the way it highlights new and innovative products and services. I’ve said it before and it still remains true now, some of the coolest baby and toddler gadgets and gear I’ve ever discovered have been at the BabyTime show.

About the Show

Friday, November 7, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Saturday, November 8, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Sunday, November 9, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Metro Toronto Convention Centre, North Building 255 Front Street West, Toronto

Parents and friends: $16 Grandparents: $10

Parking is located off of Simcoe Street.
Stroller drop off available on level 4A – look for the signs in the lot. Additional dedicated family parking spots are available sponsored by HONDA.

Each season, I had to the show with a few specific items in mind. This time around we are doing some heavy research in car seats. At only seven months old our little man is already over 20 pounds. This means I soon have to say goodbye to the ease of the baby carrier, and move him into a rear facing 3-in-1 style car seat. There are a few brands that I have my eye on, and I’m excited to be able to actually see, touch and feel the various seats and their features at the show.

My leading contender is the BRITAX ClickTight Convertible car seat. This seat uses an innovative new way to lock into your vehicle. Making it incredibly secure, but using a technique that takes the hassle out of car seat installation. The car set itself also looks very cozy for the little one and provides a leading level of safety.

A brand new way to install a car set!

I also have a few products in mind that Cole will be growing into shortly. I think there is a misconception that you won’t need to buy all new things for baby #2. Now that I have baby #2, I realize that some items just don’t last that long There is a list of items we may have had for Lilly that have either not lived long enough to see Cole, or have been lost over the years. So I am in search of a handful of things that we loved for her, and now need for him. Below are just a couple products I will be checking out at the BabyTime show.

The Miracle 360 degree trainer cup from Munchkin: Colton is a distracted eater. He wants to look here, there and everywhere and expects his milk to simply follow. We want to transition him to a cup that he can hold, so that he can take his time and move as needed. I am super impressed with this awesome innovative cup from Munchkin. I could explain it, but this video gives the wow factor better than my words could.

Laugh & Learn Smart Stages Chair from Fisher-Price: Many of the baby toys & gear we had for Lilly were hand-me-downs, which was amazing to have. However, many of them wore out over time. Also, we learned quickly that baby gear & toys can over take a house once you factor in all their different stages of play. That’s why I love the looks of the new Smart Stages Chair. It is functional, compact and will grow with our little guy.

So much fun with just one little chair!

Having a game plan of a few items you know you want more info on can help you get the most out of the show. Aside from the above mentioned products, I will also be on the look out for some innovations in teethers, a few new baby-proofing tricks and awesome baby toys for Cole’s first Christmas.

For the first time in a while, I think I will be attending the show kid-free. However, if you are thinking of bringing the little ones, there is a ton of fun activities for them. Many major brands such as Lego and Play-Doh have play centers that kids can enjoy. There is also handy changing stations and very comfortable nursing/bottle warming rooms set up. Overall, it is likely the most family friendly consumer show you will ever step foot in.

Giveaways!

Disney Princess Lego duplo Prize Pack ($20 value)

Lego has been kind enough to provide a great prize to share with you! I am giving away an adorable Snow White Lego duplo set to one lucky reader. The prize will be available for pickup at the show.

Snow White Lego duplo play set.

Fall 2014 Toronto BabyTime Show Ticket Giveaway

I am also giving away 2 pairs of tickets to the Fall 2014 Toronto BabyTime Show.

Want more chances to win tickets? Check out Little Miss Kate, Multi-Testing Mommy & Simply Suppa!

Ideally speaking, the BabyTime show will be as incredible for each of you as it always has been for me. May we all leave with overly stuffed bags of goodies and innovative finds

Disclaimer: I’m a BabyTime Show Media Partner and received special perks as part of my affiliation. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Cole has been a different story all together. While he has slept good stretches from the beginning, getting him to sleep takes a lot of extra time. He’s just a little more high maintenance, which became very obvious during his colicky days...

The smart minds over at Disney Baby have developed a list of helpful DO’s and DON’Ts for putting your little one down for a good night’s sleep. I also basically have to do the majority of the bedtime routine to get him down for his two naps as well. Right now, I am likely still breaking about half of the rules listed below, but we are getting there. Just this week, we have cut the rocking time in half and started to let him settle on his own. And while it has been tempting to just let him nap in his swing over the last few weeks, I have persevered and finally gotten him into napping properly in his crib.

My favourite trick on this list is the story time. Both my kids have always responded well to books. It’s our secret weapon. I don’t read a book before Cole’s naps, but he won’t settle without one at bedtime. He has his favourite already and smiles as soon as he sees the cover. I’m raising little book lovers over here

After you’ve had a chance to read over the bedtime tips, be sure to check out a link to the Magical Moments Contest from Disney Baby and Today’s Parent. Also, I am giving away a Disney Baby prize pack to one lucky reader!

SAYING GOOD NIGHT:

DO’S AND DON’TS WHEN PUTTING BABY TO BED

It’s tiring being a mom and, at the end of a long day, putting baby to bed can seem overwhelming. Getting a baby to sleep peacefully through the night is one of the biggest challenges of early parenthood. To help you navigate this often difficult task, Disney Baby has put together a list of bedtime do’s and don’ts – because when your baby gets a good night’s sleep, the whole house is happier!

There are some common mistakes that parents make when it comes to soothing baby to sleep. When it is time to put your little one down for a rest:

DON’T: Extend night-time feeding

As long as they are healthy, babies stop requiring night feeds somewhere between 4 and 6 months. Continuing late-night feedings beyond this age makes it difficult for babies to learn to pacify themselves and to get back to sleep all on their own.

DON’T: Rely on rocking

While gentle rocking can be very soothing for your baby, try not to rely on rocking to send them off to the land of nod. Babies can quickly become reliant on motion, and may soon find it difficult to get to sleep without it. Of course a little drive or a walk around with mom and dad is sometimes necessary, but try not to make it a part of your regular routine.

DON’T: Change your schedule

Stick to your guns! Teaching your little one good sleep habits is hard (and exhausting!), but you’ll be much more successful if baby knows what’s in store. A bedtime routine is important for both of you – whether it’s a warm bath and a snuggle (try this inflatable tub for a quick, safe splash), or a song and a story, it’s easier for both of you to transition if you know what to expect.

Fortunately, there are some easy steps you can take to make bedtime a little easier:

DO: Set the mood

Like you, your baby needs a peaceful and relaxing place to sleep. Dim the lights to establish a calm environment, and try to create some soothing background noise. Many babies find the hum of a fan calming and sound-making toys like this Simba Dreamy Sounds Soother can also help comfort baby to sleep. This Mickey Mouse SoftPal Night Light is another great way to provide safety and comfort, and is especially useful for late-night check-ins.

DO: Tuck them in

When babies are very small, swaddling is a great way to calm them down, making them feel safe and secure. Plus, it helps to ensure that they won’t be disturbed during sleep by their startle-reflex. If your little ones are slightly older, trying giving them a cozy blanket, like this Winnie the Pooh one. It will keep them warm and cozy, and also give them a way to soothe themselves.

DO: Tell a tale

Reading to your baby before bed is great for so many reasons: it creates some quiet time to cuddle and bond, and helps relax your little one after a day of excitement. What’s more, hearing you read every night exposes your baby to new words, which can only be good news as he continues to grow and learn. Disney Baby has a great selection of stories to help you out, including this adorable book of nursery rhymes.

Disney Baby will be hosting a month-long Magical Moments photo contest in partnership with Today’s Parent. The contest is open until October 19th, so get your entry in today! There are some amazing prizes to be won, including a $500 Target gift card!
To enter, simply visit the contest page and follow the three step process:

1. Upload a photo of you and your baby showing your Disney spirit
2. Enter your contact information
3. Submit!

Also, I am giving away a $65 prize pack from Disney Baby! This adorable pack includes everything listed below. Personally, I am completely in love with the Sulley night light. It is so soft and innovative. Lilly absolutely adores hers.

• A Monster’s Inc. SoftPal night light, featuring the lovely Sulley
• A set of Minnie Mouse orthodontic bottles
• A Minnie Mouse learner cup (for ages 6+)
• A set of Minnie Mouse natural shape orthodontic pacifiers

The post #DisneyBabyCA: The Dos and Don’ts of Baby’s Bedtime appeared first on Ideally speaking....

I say official because we have had some minor ones. I have trimmed up her bangs to keep them out of her eyes. And of course, there was that time she cut her own hair…resulting in a worse mullet than she already had…

Heading to the salon, she said she was a bit scared. We mentioned that she wasn’t scared when she cut her own hair, which she agreed was a good point. Dad was getting his hair cut today too, so that helped ease the nerves.

Getting started!

Her and I spent some time looking at pictures on Pinterest and agreed some straight across bangs would look good. Although this was definitely a listen to the stylist kind of cut. Lilly’s hair has grown in pretty funky up until now, so getting some direction on how to train it was key.

In progress…

The end result looks great. She still has a ways to go in terms of getting her hair to come in a bit more, but now we finally know what to do with it

All done. She has properly defined bangs!

I will add that it’s pretty ideal that she doesn’t have the hair I did at her age. I remember what it was like to deal with this mess…

So thick. So long. So many curls.

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First bath in the big tub with Dad. Also the first bath without tears…

If I’ve said it before (which I have, here) I’ve said it a million times; bathing a new baby can be my least favourite thing to have to do. Lilly hated her baths for the first 6 weeks, and Cole didn’t fare much better with his.

Once Cole was a little bit bigger, we started bathing him in the full bath tub, with one of us in the tub holding him. This is the same style we used with Lilly and it took baths from being an all out scream fest, to a relaxing and playful time with both kids. It’s a little unconventional, but it is what has always worked for us.

When it comes to bathing babies, I think that is the main key ingredient. You need to be prepared and find the set up with works best for both you and your little one. Disney Baby has some excellent points to help you get started.

FROM BUBBLES TO BATHROBES:

TIPS FOR BATHING YOUR BABY

Learning to bathe your baby can be a little scary – there’s a lot to juggle and of course you want to keep your little one safe. But as long you’re properly prepared, bath time can be a great bonding experience and a whole lot of fun! Disney Baby has some great tips on how to protect and pamper your little one in the tub, and some adorable products to help you to do it! From towels and toys to cleansers and creams, Disney Baby has you covered.

Tip #1: Start small
Your baby is little, so his bathtub should be too! When you start bathing a baby, it’s easier to do it in the sink, or using a small plastic tub. That way, you won’t have to kneel or lean awkwardly over the side of a big bath while keeping your baby upright. Some baby tubs, like this adorable Winnie the Pooh one, feature built-in toys, ensuring that bath time is fun for everyone!

Tip #2: Get some tub toys
For older babies, the bath can be a great place to learn and explore. Once your little one has graduated to a big tub, introduce them to some squirt toys, fun floaties or sponges. Disney Baby has a great selection of these, featuring characters like Nemo and Friends. Toys can keep your baby distracted and happy, helping make bath time a breeze.

Tip #3: Ditch the daily dips
Babies don’t need to bathe everyday – in fact, daily baths can dry out or damage your little one’s skin. It only takes two or three baths a week to ensure that baby stays squeaky-clean, as long as you stay vigilant about keeping face, hands and diaper area clean between washes. These Finding Nemo washcloths are the perfect way to keep baby fresh between bath times.

Tip #4: Lock in that moisture
If your baby does have dry skin, rub on a little moisturizing lotion, cream or oil post bath. There are plenty of products out there that both you and your baby can use!

Tip #5: Keep baby warm
Wet babies can become easily chilled, so throughout bath time it’s important to keep your little one warm. Ensure that bath water is around 37 degrees and that the air in the bathroom is comfortably warm as well. After the bath, wrap baby up in a soft, clean towel and give him a little snuggle! A Winnie the Pooh Bathtime Wrap keeps baby feeling cozy and looking cute.

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One little boy, so many big smiles.

To say that I headed into my second maternity leave with my wildly idealistic hat on, would be a massive understatement. While I understand that every baby is different, I very much had the memories of my daughter in mind. She was very easy baby. As such, I made great plans for myself to do things like building my blog, working a few hours for the office, finishing up areas of the house I’ve been neglecting for nearly 2 years and overall enjoy my summer off with the kids. One word tossed a major wrench into my best laid plans.

Colic.

Let me preface this entire post by saying that I have a very happy baby. Colton has an incredible smile. Just see the photo above for evidence. When he’s having a good day, I get a lot of these smiles. Thank God for that. Thinking about his smiles is what has gotten me through some of the worst colic fits we’ve faced.

Baby smiles equal sanity.

I remember when I was pregnant with Lilly, so many people had warned with stories of their colicky babies. I was terrified. During our birth classes, when they asked what scared us most about becoming parents, the top of my list was having a colicky baby. With Lilly turning out to be such as easy baby, I was very ill prepared for Cole.

The first 3-4 weeks were ok. We had what felt like the typical new baby. He was definitely a fussier newborn than Lilly, but hey, every baby is different. I do recall my mom saying that she thought he had a “touch of colic” but I completely didn’t see it…yet.

By 5-6 weeks, we were living in a very different household. The crying fits completely outweighed the content or sleeping times. He would scream for hours at a time, no matter what we did. We would have to trade off as much as possible to keep calm. On days when Lilly was home from preschool, she watched much more TV than we normally allow, so I could focus on keeping Cole as happy as possible.

Eventually, Cole and I seemed to come to an agreement to establish some peace. All he asked for was that I didn’t dare sit down. Or stop moving. Or stop singing. Or stop bouncing as I walked. I had days where I literally walked around my living room for 6-7 hours over the course of the day. It was exhausting.

I actually remember forming an ad in my head:

Free to lend to a good home, one baby treadmill/trainer. This trainer is sure to whip you into shape with undeniable motivation. Better than any personal trainer, you will find yourself walking further than you ever thought before. Rather than motivational cheering, this baby trainer uses a high pitched screeching sound to make you move. At times, simple walking will no longer cut it and you will have to add a bounce to every step, to make your workout more challenging!

Between Cole’s mood swings and my rigorous exclusive pumping schedule, I basically felt like a shut-in. I even had close friends comment when they saw me that I didn’t seem like myself. I wasn’t. I felt like a worn out prisoner of my own home. I became an even more terrible friend – because lets face it, all parents are – and a non-existent blogger. My laundry fell behind, my house was a bigger disaster than usual and I honestly don’t even remember how food got on the table most days.

I wanted to go out more, but felt guilty. I wanted to go running, but couldn’t find the strength. I wanted to drink, but…oh wait, I did pour a sanity-saving weak bourbon once in a while.

Yesterday, Colton turned 5 months old. While it has gotten significantly better, we are not out of the woods completely. He still has days where he fights sleep and acts like a bear. He has also started to put up a big fight at bedtime. But generally, we can make it through most days with very few tears. It very much feels like we have one toe into the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am far from an expert on colic. We are only JUST coming through the other side of it and I know our baby was mild compared to many cases. However, I thought I would share a few tips that helped us survive with (some) sanity intact.

Tips for Surviving Colic

1. Let people know what’s going on. The first step is to let your supports know that it’s a bit tougher than expected. When you have a colicky baby, the phrase “it takes a village” has never been more true. Baby may not settle for anyone else, but it’s amazing what a little adult conversation can do for your mental well being when you are pacing for an hour with a fussy baby. Friends and family can do everything from bringing you coffee, to helping your 3 year old wash her hands while you deal with baby.
2. Take turns with the baby. If possible, trade off with your partner or someone else every 15-20 minutes during a bad fit. There is only so much high pitched screaming you can take and a small breather can help recharge you for round two. I know as moms we can have a hard time delegating when it comes to a new baby, but don’t be afraid to tag a fellow team mate into the ring to fight the good fight. This is one I had to remind myself constantly and sometimes still do. It might seem easier to do it all myself, but if I get worked up more, so will the baby. Take a break, keep your cool and everyone will benefit.
3. Find what works and keep doing it. Warning: what “works” might change. Every. Single. Day. Like much of parenting, it is complete trial and error. However, you just might strike gold and be rewarded with peace and quiet. For us, it was the above mentioned walking. Cole would remain pretty content, as long as I walked/bounced and sang. Sometimes all at once. For 2 hours straight. It was tiring at times, but it was manageable and it was much better than hours of screaming.
4. Sleep, sleep and more sleep. This sounds nearly impossible when you have a newborn, and I will be honest that I don’t always heed my own words on this one. In the early weeks, I did nap or at least rest, a bit during the day. You have to turn off the guilt that reminds you of unfolded laundry and just take a break. A bit of extra rest or shut eye can help so much with your stress level, not to mention your breast milk production (another common new baby stress) and overall health.
5. Take care of you, so you can take care of baby. This is true for all parents and goes hand in hand with #4. Hydrate, rest, eat well, snack often and when possible, soak in a hot tub for 15 minutes. These little things help you to feel human again at a time when nothing else does.
6. Try to get out of the house. This one is one of the hardest tips on this list. When things were at their worst, the idea of leaving the house and being away from everything I might need was terrifying. However, you can’t live afraid to leave your home. Even if it is simply to run an errand to the grocery store, stepping out of the house can be a very relieving feeling. If you happen to have a baby that loves to sleep in the car, this can be a big win-win tactic.

Again, I am no expert, but we have managed to get through the worst of it with the lessons learned above. Have you survived a baby with colic? Currently living through it? Share what has worked/is working for you in the comments below.

Ideally speaking, babies would have evolved passed this crying nonsense and colic would be a thing of the past

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Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I am a total Disney addict. I get just as excited to see a new movie as my daughter does. Maybe even more… As part of the Mom Ambassador program, Disney will provide me with some tips and information each month, that I can then share with all of you. I will occasionally get some goodies to review as well So here goes, my first official Disney post.

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When we first discovered we were pregnant with our son, a couple wonderful thoughts went through my mind. One of them was the fact that thanks to maternity leave, I would have my first full summer off since I was 15 years old. Although our daughter was born in early August, I really didn’t get out at all that summer. I was a first time mom with a brand new baby…I barely left the house until fall.

However, this time, with Colton being born in March, I had planned on making the most of summer 2014.

Enjoying the nice shade of the stroller while big sis Lilly plays at the park.

Our little guy turned out to be a pretty a colicky baby, so that has limited our outings a little bit. Let’s just say that my hopes haven’t been the reality, as is often the case with motherhood…we tend to dream big That being said, we have a park around the corner and plenty of family friends also off. As Cole gets a little older, he’s having less frequent fussy days and we are starting to plan out the second half of our summer.

With plans for the zoo, the beach and picnics in the park, I was a little stumped on how to deal with a tiny baby in the summer sun. By the time we really enjoyed sunny outdoor time with Lilly, she was nearly a year old. She could wear baby sunscreen, sit up with a hat on, etc. The rules are different when you are headed outdoors with a little one under 6 months old.

Luckily for me, Disney Baby provided some great tips for how to enjoy the summer weather, while staying safe and cool.

EIGHT WAYS:

TO KEEP BABY COOL ON HOT SUMMER DAYS

Summer with a baby can be a lot of fun. There are plenty of outdoor activities you can enjoy together and lots of new spaces for baby to explore. But if you’re not properly prepared, it can also be hot, sticky and downright unpleasant. When you’re outside with your baby in the summer heat, comfort and safety are key. Here are some tips from Disney Baby on how to keep your little one cool, so you can get back to having fun in the sun.

1. Embrace Layering – Make sure you don’t overdress your baby. Loose-fitting, lightweight clothes are best, and light layers mean you can add and remove clothes as necessary.
2. Choose Cotton – Dress your baby in natural fibres. Cotton breathes and absorbs sweat more effectively than synthetic fabrics. Disney Baby offers lots of adorable summer options, like this Layette Set or this Minnie Mouse Skirted Creeper.
3. Stick to the Shade – Stay in the shade when you can find it and create some when you can’t. Buying an umbrella stroller is a great way to ensure that your little one is always protected from the sun.
4. Keep Baby Hydrated – If you’re spending a lot of time in the heat, you need to spend a lot of time nursing as well. Like you, your baby gets dehydrated and needs to replenish fluids. If your baby is older, make sure you always have Sippy Cups ready at hand.
5. Find Some Air-Conditioning – Malls, movie theatres and libraries all have air conditioning, and offer a great place to take a break from the heat. Not to mention, they’re a great place for both you and your baby to find entertainment.
6. Buy a Hat – Protect your baby’s head and neck with a cotton summer hat. This Winnie the Pooh Hat features a chin strap so it will stay firmly in place.
7. Have a Splash – Letting your baby play in a paddling pool or on a splash pad is a fun and easy way to cool them down. If you don’t have access to one of these, try a cool bath, or simply sprinkle some water on your baby’s hair.
8. Be Strategic – Avoid spending too much time outside in the middle of the day when the sun is at its hottest. When you can, it’s better for you and your baby to go out in the morning or evening.

Disclosure: I am part of the Disney Baby Mom Ambassador program & as such I have received special perks as part of the campaign. As always, the thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.

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My two reasons for being.

When my daughter was 5 weeks old, a doctor told me I had to stop breastfeeding. There is a huge story of a struggle behind that, but the important points are as follows. I’m flat/inverted. I had no idea what that was until she was born. I tore, very, very badly. I nursed through it, as everyone said to. I wound up with the starting of open wound infections on my nipples and had to stop.

I was heartbroken and devastated. In fact, I was depressed for a number of weeks afterwards.

When I started to tear and bleed badly with Colton at a week old, I made the decision to stop nursing and move to exclusively pumping. This was a very emotional choice. My husband came into our room to find me with my head in my hands sobbing. Our newborn baby was laying on the bed in front of me with blood on his chin, hands and sleeper. I was devastated all over again.

The frustrating part is that the actual nursing did not hurt this time around. However, I was incredibly worried about getting another infection and really wanted to be able to continue to provide milk to my baby. The most important part to me is that Cole gets breast milk, one way or another.

While I am very confident that I have made the right decision, it doesn’t come without a downside.

Every time I sit down & hook up the breast pump, I get a surge of emotions. It’s a mix of guilt and pride and can feel instantly overwhelming. No doubt some of this is thanks to the I-just-had-a-baby hormones still running through my body. However I know some of it is because of my circumstances.

I feel guilty for not being able to actually nurse my baby. I feel guilty over being trapped on the bed or couch for 20-30 minutes while my daughter asks me to play or my son lays beside me, wanting to be held. I feel guilt over not keeping up with the house, laundry, cooking, etc, as much as I would like to. I spend a total of approximately 3-4 hours of my day simply pumping with a nagging feeling that I have so much else to be doing.

However, I feel a sense of pride for the fact that I am doing everything I can to ensure that my son has breast milk. It has taken so much perseverance to get to this point. After the tearing appeared on the second breast, I knew I had to go easy and allow healing time. Since I didn’t want to lose any momentum with my milk production, I hand expressed into a bottle for a little over a day. I then moved into pumping with my single pump, 15-20 minutes each side, 8 times per day.

While it has been hard work, I know it is worth it.

We are now nearly at the 8 week mark and I have made some adjustments to make everything more efficient. I rented a hospital grade double pump for one month to increase my production. It is a beast that lives on our coffee table and makes me feel a bit like I belong on my in-laws dairy farm, but it gets the job done incredibly well.

The massive, but amazing milking machine & hands-free bra to make things easier.

I also bought a gently used double pump for after I return the rental and accessories to make life a little easier and allow me to pump hands-free. All of this has cut the pumping time down to 15-20 minutes, with a better yield to boot. The hard work has paid off to a point that I am pumping more milk in a day than Cole will eat, meaning we’re getting a nice stock pile in the freezer.

Although I definitely feel like I am winning the battle, it is still not without the sacrifices that every war encounters.

I still feel immense guilt when Lilly asks me to play with her and I have to respond with, “I’m sorry hunny, Mama has to pump.” Or when Cole is fussy and I think it my head, “Please settle little man, so Mama can pump some more milk for you.”

I am aware that due to the extra work of pumping, the image I had for a summer off with my kids will likely be a bit different. The new pump I have is small and mobile, but not quite as handy as actual nursing. It is one more thing to consider every time we plan a day trip, head to the park for a few hours, visit family, etc.

I know this will continue to get easier. As we move more into a consistent schedule and a little more freedom throughout the day. I am also sure that I feel better when I a little less sleep deprived and in a better state to handle my emotions…

In an idea world, breastfeeding would come as easily to everyone has it does to some. The reality is that for many, it is a lot more work to maintain. I count my blessings that I have an independent daughter and a great support system to help encourage me through it. Ideally speaking, I would only feel the pride, and not the guilt. I hope in the future when I look back at this time, that will be the case.

There is one major plus side to bottle feeding. This.

Sexy husband feeding adorable baby = winning combination every single time.

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