– Read all Talking With My Toddler posts here. –

But right around that time, we went from one kid to two and I quickly understood why moms lower their output expectations once they are outnumbered.

Here’s the thing though. I now feel terrible I haven’t blogged as much of Cole’s life as I did Lilly’s. I know it’s normal. Kind of like completing a baby book, or getting the nursery decorated before their first birthday. The odds of completion drastically decrease with each kid.

Well, it’s time I give this little guy his portion of the spotlight!

Cole had initially been slower to talk, but we have seen huge improvement in the last 8 months. He has always been very talkative and clearly had a great vocabulary, but no one could understand him except me. He officially started speech therapy last summer, which we opted to move forward with, since he still struggles with pronunciation. Plus, everyone told me it’s better to be proactive. I’d rather be working ahead on developing his speech now, than risk him struggling when he starts school.

Fast forward to now and he is mostly understood by many people around him. He occasionally still needs his Cole-to-English translator (me), but he can hold his own quite well. It’s been incredible to see his funny personality come alive.

I foresee many, many humorous additions in this round of Talking With My Toddler. For starters, I think he works the word penis into at least one conversation per day. More on that in the future

For this edition, I thought I would start off sweet. For out of all the things Cole has learned to say, this one is the most important. Last week, he and I had a little conversation in the car on our way back from speech therapy.

I mean, it is really hard to kick him out of bed when he’s this damn cute.

Prior info needed – Since December, I can almost count on one hand the number of times he has slept in his own bed all night. We thought it started as teething, then it was a cold, then more teeth and now? Well, who the hell knows. Either way, he starts off in his bed and winds up in ours hours later. So I decided to ask him why.

Me: “Hey, listen bubba, I wanted to ask you a question.”

Cole: “A keston?”

Me: “Yes, a question. Where are you supposed to sleep at night?”

Cole: “In my liten queen big boy bed” (Translation – Lightening McQueen bed, because we’re kick ass parents.)

Me: “That’s right. In your big boy bed. So bub, why have you been crawling into bed with mom and dad?”

Cole: (being sure to lock eyes with me in the rear view mirror to really drive home the melt…) “Because I miss mommy and daddy. I wuv mommy and daddy.”

He said this last line with such a sweet, sincere and almost sad tone. Tears immediately hit my eyes and I had to hold them back so I didn’t really upset him. Cole has said “I love you” in response to having it said to him, but this was the very first time he had said it on his own initiative and he used the right context.

Me: “Oh baby. We love you too. I love you so much.”

Cole: “I wuv you too much!” (his typical excited response to that statement)

With this conversation, he effectively melted away whatever parenting concerns I had about him crawling into bed with us. Once I repeated the chat to Adam, it did the same for him. I know the issue of independence and co sleeping can divide parents into one of two camps, but frankly, I don’t care. At this point, we are neither for or against it. Our toddler wants to cuddle for the last half of the night because he loves us. That’s all the information we need.

That being said, ideally speaking, he will grow out of his before he’s 18, or it might be a bit awkward. 

The post Talking With My Toddler. Round 2. #1. Learning the language of love. appeared first on Ideally speaking....

We met at Lowville Park. It was nice and central to where we were staying that weekend and is a beautiful space with so much to see and do. Little did Veronika know when she picked the location, this park also holds a special place in my heart. This is where my older brother and I went to summer day camp, where I had my first overnight camp and where my Dad would often stop for a break when driving us back up to Mom’s after our weekends with him. My family growing up has spent lots of time at Lowville Park and now my own family has made memories there as well.

Veronika has always had an amazing eye. When we were in college, she took some of the most beautiful photos I had ever seen. She also knows me incredibly well, so I knew she would instinctively capture my family in our most pure and honest form.

The results makes me heart melt. These photos display our family smiling, goofing off and chasing after our sometimes (most of the time) uncooperative little man. I couldn’t have asked for more beautiful images.

Without further ado, our 2015 family photoshoot.

The money shot. This will be the one for on top of the mantel :)

Cole wasn’t in the best of moods. It had been raining, was a bit cold and we had ripped him off of a very appealing playground at this park. Thank goodness Veronika had brought some props. This pumpkin was a mood changer for our little guy.

“Real question here mom, I can eat this right?”

Daddy’s Girl.

She sure loves her Daddy.

Veronika had wanted to take a few shots of us laying on a blanket. Given Cole’s track record for cooperation, I wasn’t sure this was going to work.

Of course Lilly and Adam had some great shots.

And we did manage to get one of all 4 of us, smiling together…

…but really this is a FAR more accurate photo to describe our family. NOTE: Cole wandering around in the background…

Little man leading the charge, like always.

He’s getting so big!

Our beautiful little lady.

“I’ll race you Mama!”

Partners in crime. Always.

Our little family.

Kids? What kids? Getting some lovin from my man We have a 2012 version of this photo too with us and Lilly.

Our beautiful boy.

Mama’s Boy.

Oh the pumpkin! Oh the wind! Oh the hair!

“Let’s take one with me and fall stuff!”

Just the girls :)

Lastly, I asked Veronika to shoot a specific pose of Lilly and I. There was a photo of my Mama and I in my mind and I wanted to recreate it. I can’t help the tears that flow every time I look at this comparison. Once again, I wish they had internet in heaven, so Mama could see this too.

Like Mama, like daughter. Miss you Mama <3

A big massive thank you again to my dear friend, Veronika. Words can’t fully articulate how much I love these photos.

Ideally speaking, we will always find the time, once every year or so, to take a few moments and capture our family in a way completely and fully us.

The post This is my sunshine. Our 2015 family photoshoot. appeared first on Ideally speaking....

My handsome little man is growing so fast!

This week, I have had my best friend in the whole wide world up to visit. Anyone who reads the blog regularly has met Colleen a few times She snapped some wonderful photos of the kids and I on her phone.

Love his little smiles.

The loves of my life.

Last night Colleen and I made some gluten free scones. She plopped in front of the stove to watch them bake. I saw an adorable photo opp

Watching delicious scones turn to golden brown. Yum.

Colleen brought with her a pair of beautiful moccasin boots that her uncle had handmade for me. I am in love with them. To check out his amazing native arts and pieces, visit his Bear Den Native Art Etsy store.

Handmade moccasin boots. Love them!

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The next generation is little Madi and brand new Cole….neither of whom were really down for having their photo taken with their older siblings…

This was the best shot I got…

Lilly did snag a hug from Madi

The girls :)

And of course, one from Owen, who was all smiles with her.

Besties!

He was even all smiles when she planted one on him.

She adores her cousin! So cute.

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This time, we had Jill up to shoot some official belly photos. When I was pregnant with Lilly, Adam and I just shot a few ourselves with a tripod. It was great to be able to have a real shoot with our family this time around and really capture some beautiful moments.

Just me and my little man :)

Lilly giving her brother some love.

Belly Inspection

Our little wannabe model insisted on hew own shoot. So beautiful :)

Lilly & I hanging out in the nursery.

My absolute favourite photo – Our growing family :)

Chillin with the baby bump.

God, how much I love this man.

Just like our last family photo sesh, we have to have at least one where we kiss & ignore the kid(s) ;)

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Well it’s official. I’ve hit my 30s. As of 2 weeks ago, I can no longer say I’m in my 20s. While that fact is a little hard to swallow, it went down easier than I expected. Age is just a number after all.

On the Friday before my birthday, I posted on Facebook and asked if there’s anything special I should do to celebrate the going out of my 20s. One friend had a really great suggestion to make a list of everything that I’ve accomplished in my life up until this point. Then to sit back look at that list and feel proud. Another friend commented right after that stating that she smelt a blog post coming on. I couldn’t agree more.

So here it goes, a list of everything that I’ve done with my first 30 years of life.

At age 6 I had my first story published. Granted it was just in the Mount Forest Public School yearbook, but I do recall my teachers telling my mom but a grade one student never been published in the yearbook previously. It was sometime around that point that I knew I wanted to be a writer.

Sometime in the third grade I wrote my first song. I’m sure it was terrible. But hey, I wrote a song at age 8.

At age 12 I joined the school paper. This was a very proud moment for me, because they had never had a writer from the junior high grades. Our school paper was a two page spread in the town’s paper. Which meant at age 12, I was published in the town paper. I went on to have an article published in nearly every biweekly edition of that paper for the following 7 years.

At age 14 I sought out therapy and counseling for the first time in my life. I did so without my parents knowledge. I was overcoming and still living in an abusive household with my ex-stepfather. I felt mature enough to make the decision to get help on my own. So proud of that.

At age 15 I finally fully stood up to that ex-stepfather. After he left the house one evening, I handed the phone to my mother, and sat beside her. Together we called the cops and made the initial steps to regain our lives.

At age 16, I became editor of the school’s paper and became an intern for the town’s paper itself. I also became president of our schools chapter of Ontario Students Against Impaired Driving and joined the local chapter of MADD, as their first ever student member. I had actually continued working with MADD actively until Lilly was born. I will get back into it again when the kids are a bit older.

At age 17, in grade 11, I was given the Ontario Principal Award for Student Leadership. This is an award that is only supposed to be given to graduating students, which I was not. My principal felt that my involvement in the school was worthy of the award early.

By age 18 I had met my soul mate. I know it’s not all that common for many people to meet the love of their life in high school, but I did. I knew what I had and I was not letting go of that man. Being together at such a young age was tough. Staying together through all the changes of our early 20s was even harder. But we look at each other now and I know we both know it was worth it.

Teenagers in love. One year into dating.

At age 19 I graduated high school and got the heck out of Mount Forest. I’m counting this is an accomplishment because for me it was a long time coming. It’s nice to go back now and visit with friends and family, but that town signified a place that unfortunately had a lot of bad memories for me, and I couldn’t wait to get out.

Also at age 19, I fully came to terms with what had happened to me as a young girl. I finally admitted the acts of molestation to my immediate family and went back into therapy to deal with it. I count this as an accomplishment because it took a hell of a lot of courage.

In my first year of college there was a leadership convention at our campus. One student from every course was selected to be able to attend the convention. I was selected as the one student in my program. It was an incredible convention. Something I’ll never forget.

At age 20, the summer between my two years of college, I traveled with Free The Children and Leaders Today (now Me To We) to Kenya for a month. There, I taught English to students in the morning and helped to build them a new school in the afternoons. It was honestly one of the most life altering experiences I’ve ever had.

Relaxing at recess with a few of the school kids.

At age 21, I graduated college as one of the top students in my entire program. This was a big accomplishment, because as involved as I was in high school, my grades were terrible. I just didn’t care. However, getting away from that town and learning about something I was interested in, made all the difference. It showed me that I was more than smart enough, as long as I applied myself.

At age 22, I married my best friend. We were young. We were the first of our friends to get married. It was a big step, but it was the right step. Right before we got married, we also bought our first home. That was nerve wracking, but really solidified that feeling of being an adult and starting the next chapter of life.

Our Wedding Day!

At 23, I started working for a small, environmentally friendly start-up as their sole employee. The 5 years that followed were grueling, but honestly, I did things to help launch that company that I never thought I could do. I learned more than I ever could have imagined.

At age 24, upon learning that my ex-stepfather had a daughter with his new wife, I went to the police with my whole story for the first time. I still remember how much I was shaking while giving my statement. When we had him arrested nearly 10 years prior, I had only admitted to the abusive nature of his discipline style. I kept the molestation to myself for years. The cops took my statement and approached him. It was the first and only time he has been confronted on it. The officer that confronted him told me that he cried like “someone who had their hand caught in the cookie jar. He acted like a guilty man.”  I don’t need to pursue it further, but from that point he officially knew that I had not forgotten what he did to me and I never will.

At the tender age of 25, I became the Federal Riding President for the Simcoe North NDP. I was overwhelmed and scared crapless…but I did it! I held onto my presidency until just this past fall. With baby #2 on the way, it was time to hand over the reigns. Being that involved in politics is something I will continue to do. I want my children to see that involvement.

Meeting Jack Layton in Halifax, summer 2009.

At age 26, I had the biggest accomplishment of my life. I became a mother. I brought a human life into the world. I remember being utterly terrified going into labour and then just feeling like it was so natural and as if it was something I was always meant to do. The following few months were a learning curve as a parent, but I have an incredible 3 year old little girl who is smart, witty and so full of life. I still look at her completely awe struck and think, “holy crap, I made that.”

So tiny and so perfect.

At age 27, after nearly 8 years of writing/marketing only for the corporate world, I started this blog. It may not seem like a big accomplishment, but it was a move to help me reclaim my voice and ultimately avoid writer’s burn out. I blog about everything and refuse to choose a niche. This is my space, for me and I have worked hard to slowly build it over the past 2.5 years.

At age 29, I was published in Canadian Family Magazine. This one was HUGE. Being published in a national magazine was on the unwritten bucket list. I still carry a copy of that magazine with me every. single. day. in my computer bag. I can’t miss an opportunity to show someone my name in national print!

I truly hope to have more of this in my future.

Also at age 29, I enrolled in university. This has been challenging only because I found out I was pregnant a week after the course started. Doing a very self-motivated based course when your body wants to sleep at 7pm can be tough. I’ve had to get an extension, but I will be wrapping it up in the next 6 weeks before our little man arrives.

Now, at age 30, I am about to have become a mother for the 2nd time. We have faced some big ups and downs with this pregnancy and it has been trying, but I know it is all completely worth it. I can’t wait to meet our son in just a few short weeks and grow our family.

Growing our family!

Here’s to the next 30 years. Ideally speaking, they will be filled with even more accomplishments and happy memories.

The post The first 30 years. appeared first on Ideally speaking....

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If you’re a regular here, than you know I have recently blogged about the constant battle we are currently in with my daughter and her new found defiance. She’s just at that stage. The terrible 2s just seem to be spilling over a bit into the 3s…

One of her acts of rebellion is that she tries specifically not to look at us when she is being spoken to. I constantly have to say, “honey, please look at me,” in order to really get her attention when we’re having a discussion.

Recently, she fed it back to me in a way that had be struggling to keep my composure in check. This kid is funny, and in times of scolding, she knows how to work it.

She had put up a good solid fight leaving daycare, wouldn’t put on her shoes, wouldn’t collect her toys and just generally wouldn’t listen. When I finally got her outside, she bolted down the sidewalk. When I caught her, she was giggling, obviously pleased with herself.

At least one of us was.

Mama: “Lilly, you have to listen better to me. I don’t like having to get upset, or repeat myself or chase you. Ok?”

Lilly: (dazing off, away from me, completely ignoring me)

Mama: “Lilly, please look at me when I’m talking. Honey?”

Lilly: “What?” (looking in my general direction, but staring at the floor)

Mama: “No, please look me in the eyes. I would like to talk to you for a minute.”

Lilly: (looking up and smirking) “Look into my eyes…. look into my eyes….” (in her best Madame Mystery voice, waving her hands in front of her)

Mama: (trying and failing not to laugh at her) “You’re a funny kid you know that? Just please try to listen better to Mama, ok?”

Lilly: (still giggling and waving her hands) “Ok.”

And just like that our discussion was over. I have no idea where she even got that bit, but it was well played.

*Read more little musings with my funny lady with the rest of my Talking With My Toddler posts.

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