Baby Sleep Positions & Zombie Mom

It all began with this. A simple, cute picture of me & the runny-nosed toddler,
eating cereal at midnight last night.

Every parent knows that there are few things in the world that can suck the life out of you faster than a bad night of co-sleeping with your infant or toddler. Sure, there are nights that are sweet, cuddling with your little bundle of joy, while they blissfully coo on your shoulder.

Last night was not one of those nights. Last night was hell.

I really, honestly, don’t know if I got more than 2 hours sleep.

I know. I get it. I am just one more exhausted mom, bitching and moaning in a sea filled with other blood-shot eyed parents. But this is my blog damn it. I’ll whine if I want to.

I don’t know how it is for other families, but as Lilly has gotten older, nights with her in the bed have actually gotten better. Her movements have calmed down and she understands the basics of how to sleep in a bed. For instance, that your head should stay on the pillow for the duration of a night.

But last night was a giant step back.

Our poor little lady has her final molars cutting in and as with all teething, it seems to really deliver full force at night. On top of that, she has a bit if a sinus cold and can’t breath as easily. Needless to say, she was a little more than restless.

I would try to describe all the various ways that she caused havoc for the good of sleep last night, but the amazingly talented boys over at How To Be A Dad created a wonderful diagram that does all the work for me. Enjoy.

photo credit:

To give you an idea of just how our night went last night, here is a list of the positions I can remember:

  • “Snow Angels” – This is how the night started out. She was trying desperately to get comfortable and was failing miserably.
  • “The Stalker” – Both Adam and I turned several times to see her sitting up and staring at us. And if we didn’t notice her, she would add a creepy element by quietly saying “mooommmmmy…” in this drawn out and whispered tone. It’s quite possible she may have been possessed in these moments.
  • “The Roundhouse Kick” – To my back, shoulder and arm. To Adam’s back, hip and neck. At one point she startled me and I got mad, threatening to make her go back to her own bed if she kicked me one more time. Then she cried and I felt like the worst mother ever. So we’ll add guilt to sleep deprivation.
  • “Jazz Hands” – I really didn’t mind this one. She was rubbing my back and saying “luv u mommy”. Shining moment of redemption in the middle of it all.
  • “H is for Hell” – We went through a nice solid round of every parent’s favourite position. She was comfortable. We were not. How To Be A Dad also made a great video that really show’s the power of this position in action.
  • “The Neck Scarf” – I awoke to this one in the morning. With her perched directly below my chin & half on my chest.

I crawled out of bed at 8 this morning – please note I work nearly an hour away…thank god for flex time – and decided immediately it would be a jeans and t-shirt day. My hair is a disaster & I have not a spec of makeup on my face.

I couldn’t possibly care less.

My wonderful husband handed me lunch as I walked out the door. It gives me the freedom to not have to move from my office all day. So I can now spend my lunch break at my desk eating left over soup and blogging (aka whining publicly) about my sleep-deprived misfortune.

And yet, as I finish off this post and take the last swig of my 2nd large coffee, I realize I will at some point have to drag my ass off my office chair. I will need to go buy caffeine filled drink number 3 if I am expected to make it till 5:30 and commute home. While maintaining productivity and preferably not killing anyone on the highway.

Ideally speaking, we would own a king sized bed & I would have a coffee maker on my desk.

Want to learn more tips for co-sleeping parents? HowToBeADad now has a very helpful guide. 

Buy The Guide to Baby Sleep Positions on Amazon. 

Disclaimer: I was not compensated by at all. They are just Rockstars and I am one of their many groupies.


  1. says

    hahaha…i love this post!!!!! and I know exactly this feeling!!!!!
    have a cup of coffee and keep up the good work! more nights will come :/


    (new follower

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