I feel like I’m constantly tired.
Now, before any of my friends and or more likely, my mother, comments about my constant fatigue, no I’m not pregnant. I wish I had that to blame this on, but I don’t.
Note – It does make me concerned for what will happen when I do get pregnant again. I spent the first three months of my last pregnancy completely exhausted & passed out by 7p.m. each night. If I have not gotten control of my current situation by then, my coworkers are going to find me comatose in my office by mid afternoon.
No, this exhastion is of my own creation and I know why.
I wake up tired, I drink some coffee. I get to work, order more coffee & go through the morning tired. After lunch I get more coffee and go through the afternoon tired. I get home, organize dinner, pjs, baths, contemplate tidying toys and realize I’m exhausted. Finally, when Lilly is in bed and the house looks semi-sane again, do I go to bed early like I should?
No. I stay up till 1 a.m. pinning shit.
Someone needs to kill my Internet around 11 PM every night. That would make my life so much easier. I realize that it wouldn’t take away all of the distractions in my house like TV or books. However it would certainly put an end Netflix, Pinterest and Twitter, giving me a hope in hell of sleeping.
I know this is my own fault. I am a big girl and really shouldn’t need someone to enforce my bedtime.
It’s just so hard! *whiny toddler tone, stomping feet*
It’s not really that hard, but it is tempting. As many fellow parents know, those moments after your precious bundle goes to bed are nearly euphoric. There are days, after some of her more trying evenings, that I want to stand outside of Lilly’s bedroom door and bellow out a Braveheart style freedom speech.
The next couple hours should be spent catching up on laundry, cooking for the next day, office work and making sure my blog isn’t being neglected and that sponsored posts are not left until the day before a deadline. In my head, the night ends with me going to bed at a reasonable hour, feeling rested and accomplished.
This never happens.
Sure, the majority of nights, much of that gets done to some degree. For instance tonight, I did a hour of work for the office, brought a basket of Lilly’s clothes upstairs (Sitting at the end of my bed in a heap. I have no intention of folding it tonight.) and I am working on my blog…which obviously you know, since you’re reading it.
I go into each evening with the best intentions, and ultimately end up lost in a downward spiral of social media addictions and 2-3 episodes of Dawson’s Creek… Don’t judge me. Last month it was One Tree Hill and I’m sure next month I’ll have moved onto another long forgotten teen geared show. I’ve been feeling nostalgic.
I know the solution to my problem. If I could become more efficient and go to bed at a reasonable time, I could get into a routine that allows me the best of both worlds. I could crawl into bed at 10:30pm, knowing the laundry is caught up & play on Pinterest for a full half hour guilt free. Then I could put down the phone/laptop like an adult and go to sleep.
This would stop me from endlessly falling into my vicious and exhausting cycle. Which leaves me feeling, as best described by Allie @ Hyperbole and a Half, “almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP. ”
Seriously, even the nachos part of that statement is bang on.
|Hilarious and fairly accurate drawing by Allie @ Hyperbole and a Half|
Ideally speaking, I would like to really hold out hope that I can find the strength to make this happen. However, I have blogged about my lack of sleep and organization before and well, here we are again.
And on that note, as it is now exactly 12:15am, I am going to hit publish and go to sleep. Scouts honour.